My dearest friends and I share a deep love for the grilled cheese sandwich. Really any form of melted, grilled, fried or even flaming cheese. I can’t imagine a better food. When Luisa posted a recipe that I had been thinking about for a while, I finally tried making these grilled Gruyere toasts with mustard and thyme. They are a little piece of heaven. A few slices of sourdough are broiled on one side. Flipped over and spread with melted butter and then good Dijon mustard. Sprinkled with fresh thyme leaves and covered with shredded Gruyere. Returned to the broiler for a minute or two until melted and browned and delicious looking. These are such good comfort food, and surprisingly I find myself still needing some comfort.

I thought I would be feeling much better post-election. Everyone else seems to be. While I do feel relief that the Bush administration is ending and that Obama will lead the country, it is difficult to not feel devastated by the various marriage bans that were passed across our nation.

It is a dark day for all of us when we regress so far that the constitution is altered and rights are taken away from individuals. Where does that end? The bans that were passed were passed out of fear and hate and those are two emotions that should not be ruling this country. Change is painfully slow and always has been. I am sure I share the same feelings that blacks across our country felt just 40 years ago when there were laws in many states prohibiting interracial marriage. Laws which were justified by the same sort of empty rhetoric involving the sanctity of marriage, religious beliefs and cultural values. It is with a great deal of frustration that I now watch interviews with people praising this election for proving to their children that they can be anything they want to be. Let us not forget that this election also taught millions of children that they CAN’T be what they want to be. That they shouldn’t love who they want to love.

I know that history will prove the majority of voters in California (and all of the other states) wrong. Laws will be passed and rights will be granted, but after all our country has been through it shouldn’t be this difficult. It is time to share a grilled cheese with a friend and make plans to participate. To give money, or time or your voice to the issues that matter to you. One step forward and two steps back is how it goes. We can’t relax, we can’t stop caring, we must stay engaged.