I love this. I’ve been mulling over the same thoughts lately, too – how “friend” means so much in this decade, but they are often put aside for raising families and working longish hours, and then meeting with people takes 10 text message and email chains. Basically, yes, same, and ditto to everything above. Happy early birthday!
Beautiful post. I agree, as we get older it gets harder and harder to keep the sort of tight friendships of our youth. We have to work at it. And it’s work worth doing (like making stock), but I wish it were easier overall. Kudos to you to giving yourself the gift of friendship. Happy Birthday. Happy Friendsgiving!
Dena
I’ve been resenting that I almost always am the one in my circle of friends to initiate and host gatherings, but your post has me thinking maybe this is the most important contribution I bring to our circle.
Hang in there! I am now in the mid-late 40s and I can see the light at the end of hte tunnel. Kids are moving on to HS and college. It is much easier to grab a cup of coffee on the fly than it was just a few years back.
Jeffrey – please keep initiating! We need those people who manage to get us out the door! Thank you for doing this for your friends…
Lovely post, and you hit the nail on the head, the onion on the stem. Friends are the warp and weft of life; wonderful meals the pleasure that punctuates it. Happy Birthday, whenever it arrives.
Hi Tim, great post. I am in my twenties and my friendships are by far the most valuable thing in my life – quite makes up for all the other Lena-Dunham-esque drawbacks that being in your twenties implies. :) But one has to wonder if you can have it all… all at one time…
PS: As I was clicking through my bloglovin feed tonight and found myself skipping past or quickly through almost all of the food blog posts, I was reminded of your “You’re Boring” post. But as tedious as all food blogs seem to me now, your posts are always fun to linger over and revisit. And bonus from this one – now I have a new show to watch.
Cheers to friendship and the spontaneous events that transpires with them! My eight-year-old knows who Amanda Frietag is…we are a huge fan of Chopped in our nest. I am also a fan of making my own broth…I never let a bone go without sucking the life out of it in a long and slow simmer with whatever veggies I have on hand. Happy feasting with friends!
I love that my sister commented on this too — we are definitely sisters! This post makes me sad and nostalgic, because it’s true… But we probably hang out with friends more than we will when we’re 60 so…
So strange how this happens to everyone. I have one friend here in New York who is always down for the spontaneous hang, the weekend-long hang, like we were still in our twenties. I’m so grateful for him, because he’s my only friend left like that! I’m also grateful for Amelia, because we still talk on the phone several times a week, even if it’s only for 5 minutes to tell each other “two things”, as she likes to announce when I answer the phone.
And I’m totally obsessed with Doll and Em too! So brilliant. And now after thinking about friendship I want to go call all my friends! Happy thanksgiving!
This has been so on the forefront of my mind lately as well–I’ve been acutely aware of how much I need my friends, need to make sure that I have regular time to see and speak to them, because it contributes so much to my mental health and sense of feeling like myself. I feel really blessed to have several close friends who live close, but also that all of the closest ones are willing to make the effort to make our interactions happen. I’m at the start of my thirties, but for the last few years, what I’ve asked my friends for on my birthday is simply time together–we make dates and spend luxurious amounts of time doing the things that used to happen more regularly and effortlessly. While I miss that ease, I am also grateful for the perspective that time brings–and for the fact that I am much, much better about reaching out to my friends and asking them for things. As it turns out, they are always happy to oblige, and my vulnerability has, of course, drawn us closer.
Thank you for your thoughtful observations and show recommendation xx
Dolly Wells is wonderful, also, on “Blunt Talk”… friendship has changed to much in society but really not so much in “real life”. Thanks for tackling a tough (needn’t be) subject.
You gotta read My Brilliant Friend! (The first in the Neapolitan series.) I love how Ferrante tackles friendship in all of its complexities. (Also loved Doll & Em.)
Hear hear to your post! But regarding stock, I started keeping stock bags in my freezer this year, and it’s really upped my soup game. Mushrooms and cheese rinds go into one bag, all cut ends of vegetables into another. I’m sure this technique is known to you, as it was to me since for always, but I never tried it until recently. Made a huge difference in my aversion from/attraction to homemade stock!
Beautifully written Tim. I’ve been feeling the same with my close friends and I feel like now we all have little kids we are back on the same page. I guess friendships like anything else ebb and flow. Happy Birthday!!
What a beautiful tribute to friendship– you summed up perfectly what I’ve been feeling myself lately, also in my 30’s. Happy birthday, happy friendsgiving.
Tim,
This post has been resonating with me since Thanks Giving and meant to comment but became too busy with too many things that are probably way less important then I think they are. I don’t know why more people don’t talk about this very thing.
I’ve gone through lots of changes in my frienships as my friends of many years and I went on different paths, moved to different cities, careers, marriges , children and divorces.I only see certain friends once a year. I found myself wondering. Did I do/say something wrong? But I hadn’t done anything. It’s just life and friendships evolve and change. All those changes and the passing of time only make it more clear to me how special friendships are. If you’re lucky some friends are there for the whole journey. If you are even luckier you get profound new connections that turn into frienships. It is too conveniant to get in a routine and too caught up in how busy we are. True friends are worth the effort. Thanks for the reminder !
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Marlena says:
November 24th, 2015 at 11:15 am
I love this. I’ve been mulling over the same thoughts lately, too – how “friend” means so much in this decade, but they are often put aside for raising families and working longish hours, and then meeting with people takes 10 text message and email chains. Basically, yes, same, and ditto to everything above. Happy early birthday!
stefani says:
November 24th, 2015 at 11:33 am
happy birthday! thank you for this – i have been thinking about this too. Sending a big hug and love.
Dena says:
November 24th, 2015 at 12:30 pm
Beautiful post. I agree, as we get older it gets harder and harder to keep the sort of tight friendships of our youth. We have to work at it. And it’s work worth doing (like making stock), but I wish it were easier overall. Kudos to you to giving yourself the gift of friendship. Happy Birthday. Happy Friendsgiving!
Dena
Jeffrey C says:
November 24th, 2015 at 1:29 pm
I’ve been resenting that I almost always am the one in my circle of friends to initiate and host gatherings, but your post has me thinking maybe this is the most important contribution I bring to our circle.
Amanda W. says:
November 24th, 2015 at 2:05 pm
Hang in there! I am now in the mid-late 40s and I can see the light at the end of hte tunnel. Kids are moving on to HS and college. It is much easier to grab a cup of coffee on the fly than it was just a few years back.
Jeffrey – please keep initiating! We need those people who manage to get us out the door! Thank you for doing this for your friends…
Susan Herrmann says:
November 24th, 2015 at 3:22 pm
Lovely post, and you hit the nail on the head, the onion on the stem. Friends are the warp and weft of life; wonderful meals the pleasure that punctuates it. Happy Birthday, whenever it arrives.
ashley says:
November 24th, 2015 at 4:45 pm
i love you!
Amy says:
November 24th, 2015 at 9:14 pm
Hi Tim, great post. I am in my twenties and my friendships are by far the most valuable thing in my life – quite makes up for all the other Lena-Dunham-esque drawbacks that being in your twenties implies. :) But one has to wonder if you can have it all… all at one time…
PS: As I was clicking through my bloglovin feed tonight and found myself skipping past or quickly through almost all of the food blog posts, I was reminded of your “You’re Boring” post. But as tedious as all food blogs seem to me now, your posts are always fun to linger over and revisit. And bonus from this one – now I have a new show to watch.
thefolia says:
November 24th, 2015 at 9:31 pm
Cheers to friendship and the spontaneous events that transpires with them! My eight-year-old knows who Amanda Frietag is…we are a huge fan of Chopped in our nest. I am also a fan of making my own broth…I never let a bone go without sucking the life out of it in a long and slow simmer with whatever veggies I have on hand. Happy feasting with friends!
Heather Scott says:
November 25th, 2015 at 12:57 am
I love that my sister commented on this too — we are definitely sisters! This post makes me sad and nostalgic, because it’s true… But we probably hang out with friends more than we will when we’re 60 so…
Tim says:
November 25th, 2015 at 7:29 am
Thanks for the kind comments, all.
Amy- yeah. it is hard to get it to all line up. but i think we just need to enjoy each for what it is. (and work to make it better?)
agreed that Jeffrey needs to keep initiating and hosting! sorry it sometimes feels like a thankless job.
Crash and Heather- love you guys. x
Mary Anne says:
November 25th, 2015 at 8:44 pm
So strange how this happens to everyone. I have one friend here in New York who is always down for the spontaneous hang, the weekend-long hang, like we were still in our twenties. I’m so grateful for him, because he’s my only friend left like that! I’m also grateful for Amelia, because we still talk on the phone several times a week, even if it’s only for 5 minutes to tell each other “two things”, as she likes to announce when I answer the phone.
And I’m totally obsessed with Doll and Em too! So brilliant. And now after thinking about friendship I want to go call all my friends! Happy thanksgiving!
Nishta says:
November 25th, 2015 at 10:07 pm
This has been so on the forefront of my mind lately as well–I’ve been acutely aware of how much I need my friends, need to make sure that I have regular time to see and speak to them, because it contributes so much to my mental health and sense of feeling like myself. I feel really blessed to have several close friends who live close, but also that all of the closest ones are willing to make the effort to make our interactions happen. I’m at the start of my thirties, but for the last few years, what I’ve asked my friends for on my birthday is simply time together–we make dates and spend luxurious amounts of time doing the things that used to happen more regularly and effortlessly. While I miss that ease, I am also grateful for the perspective that time brings–and for the fact that I am much, much better about reaching out to my friends and asking them for things. As it turns out, they are always happy to oblige, and my vulnerability has, of course, drawn us closer.
Thank you for your thoughtful observations and show recommendation xx
Candace says:
November 27th, 2015 at 10:44 am
Dolly Wells is wonderful, also, on “Blunt Talk”… friendship has changed to much in society but really not so much in “real life”. Thanks for tackling a tough (needn’t be) subject.
amelia says:
November 29th, 2015 at 2:11 pm
You gotta read My Brilliant Friend! (The first in the Neapolitan series.) I love how Ferrante tackles friendship in all of its complexities. (Also loved Doll & Em.)
xox
kari says:
November 29th, 2015 at 3:06 pm
Hear hear to your post! But regarding stock, I started keeping stock bags in my freezer this year, and it’s really upped my soup game. Mushrooms and cheese rinds go into one bag, all cut ends of vegetables into another. I’m sure this technique is known to you, as it was to me since for always, but I never tried it until recently. Made a huge difference in my aversion from/attraction to homemade stock!
Kate says:
November 30th, 2015 at 7:18 am
Beautifully written Tim. I’ve been feeling the same with my close friends and I feel like now we all have little kids we are back on the same page. I guess friendships like anything else ebb and flow. Happy Birthday!!
Nuala says:
December 2nd, 2015 at 8:00 pm
What a beautiful tribute to friendship– you summed up perfectly what I’ve been feeling myself lately, also in my 30’s. Happy birthday, happy friendsgiving.
CatChicago says:
December 10th, 2015 at 3:19 pm
Tim,
This post has been resonating with me since Thanks Giving and meant to comment but became too busy with too many things that are probably way less important then I think they are. I don’t know why more people don’t talk about this very thing.
I’ve gone through lots of changes in my frienships as my friends of many years and I went on different paths, moved to different cities, careers, marriges , children and divorces.I only see certain friends once a year. I found myself wondering. Did I do/say something wrong? But I hadn’t done anything. It’s just life and friendships evolve and change. All those changes and the passing of time only make it more clear to me how special friendships are. If you’re lucky some friends are there for the whole journey. If you are even luckier you get profound new connections that turn into frienships. It is too conveniant to get in a routine and too caught up in how busy we are. True friends are worth the effort. Thanks for the reminder !
Teen says:
December 20th, 2015 at 8:00 pm
You are my dearest friend timo. And my family. LOVE you